OK, you get points if you know what that title means or should say, but no points if you think it's from "V for Vendetta." Last night I went to my first and so far most awesome Guy Fawkes party. Yes, I am fully aware that the holiday is on the 5th of November, not the 7th. So did the guy throwing the thing, but he put it on the 7th to accomodate the weekend. Hence the "wrong day" joke. I hope I don't have to elaborate on who Guy Fawkes was or why we, British-founded Americans, had the party, because the man hosting it was THE expert on all things Fawkesian. The man's name is Conrad Bailey and he lives in Linthicum. His website is cbailey.com.
I met Conrad at a book drive in Glen Burnie, loading books into an old library. I saw his pick-up truck first. It, his car, and his house are loaded to the gills with his homemade sculptures. They're pretty indescribable. I asked him if he was familiar with the Weird US series, and he said he was in it. He's in Weird Maryland, which I own. So he invited me to his party and said he'd autograph the book. He's not a hard man to ignore or say no to. He's tall with a massive white beard, and he's the kind of guy that knows everybody and has to be known by everybody. Extremely friendly. I had to go.
What did we do at the party? Plenty. I met the author of Weird Maryland, Matt Lake, along with his wife Nicole (a horror movie actress) and his son, Dan, a blacksmith. I spent most the night talking to everybody, which for me is impressive because I am not the best mingler. Conrad owns a very small yard, so the whole event was standing room only. For the festivities themselves we had the torch lighting, the turkey buried in the pit oven, the pudding ("Behold the pudding!" You had to shout that), chanting the Guy Fawkes rhymes, the bonfire, and in keeping with tradition, the fireworks. My ears still ring with the firework fountains and there's now a tiny burn mark on my fedora, but damn I'll do this again next year.
I know I'm sounding like a little kid describing Disney World, but it was a busy night. I spent a great deal of time talking to Matt and his travels for the Weird US series and elsewhere. He hugged me when I told him I owned Weird England. Evidently I'm the only Yank that does. I got his autograph, Conrad's, and Tom Atkinson, who owns the largest Star Wars collection in Maryland, if not the US itself. The pudding itself had to be my favorite part. Conrad made a bowling ball sized English pudding while someone read a scene from "A Christmas Carol." He doused it brandy and started a parade, lead by a blue-burning pudding, cheering, "Behold the pudding!" The man spares no expense on his festivities, and if anyone went through that night bored, then I only have one question. What the hell is wrong with you? The whole night was a blast. The whole holiday was a blast. The fireworks...blasted. I loved it and I plan to be a regular fixture. I'll take any excuse to add a new holiday to my year.